What turns YOU on as far as chatting???

[kittenlepurr]

@ Urban so right chat first and some flirting aceeptable > but to day on yahoo chat had arabic man lol all i did was ask about where he lives and now hounding me> scouts honour didnt do anything to him react that  way ! gulp > wants to marry me to make me respectable and honest woman > i think i have a cyber stalker > shit inthat country id be so dragged in middle city and stoned to dearth ! hehehehee well my older sister did tell me stay away from those countries when i star traveling next year

Thats one of the main reasons why I only chat with a person I meet on achat in achat or the forums. Giving out your yahoo is just a little too personal to do even if its just a yahoo thats used specifically for achat. The reason why is because it always comes with expectations from the other person. (and I have had negative experiences from there in the past)

I think its because he has a different idea on what kind of relationship this is I dont doubt you were very clear on that Island but still some people need it drilled home to them. The whole "we are playing to have fun. do not take it overly serious" ... personally irl I tend to stay away from arabic people due to having an ex-bf-stalker that was arabic that forced me to change states to get away and put a AVO that i have to renew on him yearly. The secondary reason why I stay away from them before you think its racist is just because in some cases their attitude stinks and they can be very restrictive in their attitudes. (Something thats very much against my personality)

[Adera]

Had to look up what an AVO really was, even though I kinda got what it was from the context. It's kinda sad that such measures are needed against some individuals, imo noone is going to get happy from it... but I guess it's an obsessive thing.

[islandsun]

@kittenlepurr   lesson learned  Thanks

@Adera  hey girl long time no hear !   soon as I get some time psst whispers in ur ear maybe some time  your on same time we have to pull a fast one on one of our mutual friends  ..... grin

[kittenlepurr]

Had to look up what an AVO really was, even though I kinda got what it was from the context. It's kinda sad that such measures are needed against some individuals, imo noone is going to get happy from it... but I guess it's an obsessive thing.

Sorry Adera, -cuddles- I should be clearer there but its good you were able to find it out. Its a cease and desist order it also doesn't allow the offending person within a certain distance of you for your protection. I agree I didn't want to put it out against him but trust me it was something I needed to do just for my own personal safety.

@kittenlepurr   lesson learned  Thanks

Very much so Islandsun it was not the best lesson to learn just really the only option.

[Adera]

@Adera  hey girl long time no hear !   soon as I get some time psst whispers in ur ear maybe some time  your on same time we have to pull a fast one on one of our mutual friends  ..... grin

Ehehe

Sorry Adera, -cuddles- I should be clearer there but its good you were able to find it out. Its a cease and desist order it also doesn't allow the offending person within a certain distance of you for your protection. I agree I didn't want to put it out against him but trust me it was something I needed to do just for my own personal safety.

Oh, I was a bit unclear in what I meant there. I meant that as I see it, he's the one with problems and because he can't let go he hurts you as well. What saddens me is that there are people like him that makes things like that necessary.

*Idly pets your head*

I'm happy that you have the AVO up against him, at least with it you can go on with your life even if he can't.

[Lover]

I agree I didn't want to put it out against him but trust me it was something I needed to do just for my own personal safety.

He has to take response about his behaviour. You just did what was necessray to protect yourself. Unfortunatley people like him don't learn... and don't understand so this is the only way to keep him away.
Don't think about him, live your life and find real nice people.

[islandsun]

@kittenlepurr > its called restrainning order here !  had same thing for 3 yrs age 15 ttill almost 18 > now i help w parents w daughters in same situation , but have to stop some times cuz flash backs, But has made me stronger !

scars barley visable out side but inside takes longer !  And  was hard on my moma.

past been helping a father cuz his daughter in same way , he talks w me , and more concern teen > boy friends on the riase w  violence

Hate this shit !

[kittenlepurr]

@ Islandsun

I know you have it called a restraining order where you are but i thought I would call it what it was locally. I should have just used the restraining order term easier to understand.

Then you know where I was coming from Island its not a good experience for anyone. I think its great your trying to help people through the process I dont like to think about it or  relive it so I try to stay away from it -because all it does is start tears-. We all cope in our own ways. I can safely talk about it but yeah.

Yes that is true they are .... but I believe its because people aren't taught how to give basic respect to others with the way everything is up and easy to get they believe relationships should be the same way. Which they aren't ever.

Honestly I hate it as much as you do.

[Bear]

Kitten' ty  for sharing this, I realize that it brings up painful and emotional issues affecting your life, but if it reminds others of the potential pitfalls of opening yourself to other forms of "play" here...holds their  motivation from making an ill advised  decision they are being pressured on,  then your words and shared experiences on a serious topic are priceless and I hope well heeded.

Several months after I first joined I befriended a young woman, never romantically involved, we just chatted. Her openness,... sweet disposition and innocence enchanted many men...in fact she founded herself hounded by many to share much more than just time in a room. I constantly had to remind her,... true friends will not make conditional requirements to do more than what a partner feels comfortable with.  That is the important part, no matter how close, expectations to push the limits are a red flag.  She subsequently lost partners... but at that moment,... time here she needed a reminder that rushing into sharing is not necessarily the best decisions. When she buckled... gave in... she found herself pressured more and more... luckily she heeded my warnings...

In this day and age,... one should be aware that a technically proficient partner can glean quit a bit of information. Stalkers...female as well as male can find ways to intervene in your life in matters that can be disruptive and embarrassing.  All I can offer,... and advise is that any decision to extend and incorporate other modes of interaction is that there is a risk...

Though personally I have found I enjoy incorporating vocal chat with room play...I do not predicate relationships on the necessity of using external sources.

The important part is being aware... making intelligent decisions, rather than rash ones of the heart.