AChat Forum
Discussions about sex => Everything about sex and love => Topic started by: kellissa on October 04, 2012, 04:09:19 PM
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I'm getting messages inviting me to be a "secret lover" or "secret spouse." Can someone explain the "secret" aspect of these relationships? Not quite understanding the concept.
Thanks!
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Hello kellissa,
secret means other members don't see this person when they look at your lists, only you will see him. If you login to your account on homepage your secret friends/lover/spouse are also visible and as far as I know also signed "secret".
Some don't want to show others they have a spouse/lover/friend...
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So they want to keep me secret because they're "cheating" on another virtual spouse? Wow, this is more complicated than I realized!
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It may not be for cheating purposes... it might be to keep things uncomplicated... some folks get jealous if they don't see themselves held in as high regard as others. By keeping the relationships secret they avoid all complications.
Others don't want anyone to know their business... some folks hold these matters as quite private and personal.
My best advise is look at the one who requested secret status... how are they handling others?
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Also sometimes 3rd persons are making troubles... I know a woman having two secret spouses because she was offende by other women! when they noticed she had a special man as spouse...
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Have just look up to see if i had any secret lover,friends, they come as Private to my shock i have 9 as friends out of the 9/ 7 are girls .
There is one thing i will not have is a secret spouse.I have 6 spouse and the reason for that is these are the people i will go to a room with first
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I keep no scretes from my women, I am a slag
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I get secret request some of the time. I dont accept because some or them i havent even met.
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bear is right....i know an italian girl here from several months and just had ask me recently to move our state to spouse but had ask to keep it secret cause a friend of her is terrible jelous and can cause some trouble......
secret or not, for me it's not so important, but sure in some situation can help......and some of us not usually here known what i mean!
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I keep no secrets either. I am besotted ;D
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As far as the whole "secret" relationship thing goes, I do not accept any secret requests for an type of relationship. Quite some time ago, I became friends with a girl here & we'd talk every day, sometimes for hours, even rooming together. I was a bit surprised that she never asked me to be her friend. So she sent me a secret request one day & that really surprised me. When I asked her about it, she said that we had to be secret because she couldn't be seen on my lists because the crowd she was in with here didn't feel I was a premier enough member for her to assosciate with, and that it was important for her to be in good with this crowd because they were the "cool" ones here. This was kind of appaling for me, as basically she said she wanted us to be friends, but was too embarrased to be seen with me in public here. I immediately stopped talking to her, although she continued to pester me, said she didn't understand why this was a big deal. Duh!!!!! People's feelings get hurt when it's put to the table that way :'(. Fortunatley for me, I have two wonderful spouses :), many lovers, & friends who want to be my friends out in the open. This is my reason for not accepting secret relationships period.
Kisses, Steph :)
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As I written before I understand some reasons for a secret relationship. Though I also don't accpet secret relationships. Either someone wants to be my friend, then he has to stand for his wish or he is afraid then he/she cannot be my friend.
Steph, I ask myself how stupid some people are - telling you the reason for her secret question. Congrats! There was just one answer to give and this you did.
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So they want to keep me secret because they're "cheating" on another virtual spouse? Wow, this is more complicated than I realized!
I feel secret is is ok I like to keep my good friends safe so secret so others don't bother them we have some nutter in here to
that will stop them from haressing them
if its your partner that will keep other from chasing them :)
many reasons
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After A 1 year this post is
I would say I think different there is no reason to be secret .
the only reason would be if they bother your friends and its a inconveniences to them.
But I don't like keeping any one secret .I think ever person is worth more then being a secret .
Its very easy just say no or yes but I say choices carefully before add anyone.
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I have many "secret lovers" since a very long time, why?
1° They not want any shemales in their straight list friends !
2° They have a girlfriend or wife and are very faithful !
It's like in real life but though they want allways...that I suck their cock or fuck my ass and gizz on my tits or face !
It's very simple and easy like that for "MY LOVERS" ;)
MEN I love you, never change anythings, you're perfect ;D
It's not a problem for me in game if it's more easy like that, in real life it's another history for me 8)
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(http://humourhub.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/your-wife-says-you-never-buy-her-flowers.jpg)
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(http://humourhub.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/all-you-need-is-love.jpg)
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Here's a link to an interesting article.
SEX & LOVE
Stealthing: The Sick Sex ‘Trend’ No One’s Talking About
Secretly removing their condoms before or during sex is a disturbing practice that more sexually active young men seem to be engaging in. Here’s what you should know – from the risks involved to how to protect yourself proactively
BY SASHA GONZALES / JULY 10, 2017
https://www.herworld.com/life/sex-love/stealthing-dangerous-sex-practice-singapore-sex-without-condoms/
(Names changed to protect the parties)
Lisa was out with her date Melvin when things got a little hot and heavy. As they made out in her car, Lisa suggested that the pair spend the night in a hotel room. After checking in, one thing led to another; the pair agreed to have sex, and Lisa helped Melvin to put on a condom. Everything was progressing as planned – until Lisa felt Melvin ejaculate inside of her and noticed that the condom was nowhere to be found. When she confronted him, he sheepishly admitted that he’d removed the condom mid-way through sex and apologised for not informing her beforehand.
“A mix of emotions hit me all at once,” says Lisa, a 32-year-old sales executive. “I’d basically just had unprotected sex, which is something I would never do, but worse, I had not even agreed to it. After getting over my shock, I told Melvin off and made it clear to him that I didn’t want to see him again. He acted like what he did wasn’t a big deal and mocked me for being paranoid. I couldn’t believe it.”
The next morning a panicked Lisa went to the clinic, worried sick that she’d contracted a sexually transmitted disease. Her doctor told her that she’d have to wait at least a week to get tested since many common infections, like chlamydia and gonorrhoea, require about seven days to be detected. Others, like Hepatitis A and Hepatitis C, may take even longer.
“For the next week or so, I couldn’t eat, sleep or work,” shares Lisa. “Not only was I worried that I’d caught some horrible disease, I was also scared that I had fallen pregnant. A million questions ran through my mind like, how would I take care of a baby as a single parent? I was also angry with myself for not noticing when he removed the condom. I felt violated and demeaned.” Luckily, medical tests later revealed that Lisa had not fallen pregnant or contracted anything nefarious. She was relieved, but vowed never to be so cavalier or reckless during sex again.
Stealthing: What is it?
Lisa’s cautionary tale is an example of a horrifying practice referred to as ‘stealthing’. Agreeing to have unprotected sex with your hubby is one thing, but when your partner secretly and purposefully removes his condom before or during sex, you’re dealing with something that’s akin to sexual assault.
Stealthing is not new, but one of the reasons why sexually active young men are doing it is because there’s a burgeoning online community actively promoting the sick behaviour. These communities glorify the “thrilling” act of the man “going raw” (that is, having sex without a condom) so that he can ejaculate inside his partner. The men on these sites talk about how good it feels (for them) and insist that they have a right to do it since all men have a “natural instinct” to “spread their seed” and “reproduce”. Worse, these guys are actually proud of the fact they have “stealthed” their sexual partners and even brag about it within these portals.
Even if you’ve agreed to have sex with a guy, stealthing is a form of sexual violence or, some might say, rape, because you did not consent to him penetrating you, sans protection. Think about it – if he had asked your permission to remove the condom mid-coitus, you would have said no, so why would you be okay with him removing his condom without your knowledge?
What to do if you’ve been ‘stealthed’
Stealthing poses a whole host of risks like pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. In addition, women who have been “stealthed” might also experience emotional distress that lasts well beyond the morning after.
If your sexual partner removes his condom before or during sex despite agreeing to wear one, he has essentially committed an act of sexual violence against you. If you find yourself in such a situation, don’t wash or rinse off the evidence. File a police report immediately, and make it clear to the police officer that you did not consent to having sex without a condom. You should also see a doctor as soon as possible for a pregnancy test and to screen for sexually transmitted infections.
Of course, paying attention to everything that’s going on before and during sex is important to protect yourself from being stealthed in the first place, which is why it’s not a good idea to have sex when you’re intoxicated or in a dimly lit room. You want to be focused enough to know where your partner’s hands are and to understand everything he’s saying to and asking of you. It sounds like a mood killer, but being more alert and aware than usual might save you a ton of worry and heartache later on. Says Lisa: “I regret trusting Melvin the way I did, but had I just been more present that night, I might have noticed him removing the condom and would have been able to stop him before he ejaculated inside of me. I shudder to think what I’d be going through right now had I fallen pregnant or contracted an STI from the experience.”
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I keep no scretes from my women, I am a slag
Love it lol
To be honest I don't see any need for secrecy other than perhaps titillation for the the requester. I couldn't give a flying fajita who knows who my friends are...it's my business and mine alone.