Welcome Yellow, my take on this has been that there is very little ultimate right or ultimate wrongs. Many have their personal styles of play, and I know that it can vary for me according to who I am with.
I'm thinking the underlying problem is more in the partner being played with, but then again you are primarily talking guys here and that's not exactly my field of expertise.
I do feel the need to ask though, do you communicate what you are expecting to them in advance? I've found most users here eventually develop what we've playfully called a "screening process" where we talk a bit with the prospective partner and see if they are going to be comfortable playing in the style we want to play.