Hey Liberty_Jazz, Welcome to the Erotic story section.
Marilyn is right, I am always looking for writers to enter the Erotic Story Contest. Check it out, see if it inspires you to enter.
Forum Home Page > Announcements > Forum News > EROTIC STORY CONTEST 6 – MEDIEVAL. https://funnyadultgamesplay.com/forum/index.php/topic,2816.0.html and
Forum Home Page > Organisations & Events >Contests > EROTIC STORY CONTEST RULES https://funnyadultgamesplay.com/forum/index.php/topic,2509.0.html
Your story is interesting and thank you for sharing it with us.
I have taken the liberty of spacing it out a little for easier reading. It is hard to read without the spacing as readers can easily lose their place. It also helps readers who's first language is not English.
I usually give a guideline of about 5 to 6 lines maximum and then space and paragraph but obviously it does need to flow with the story too, so its to the writers discretion. If its too hard to read though, it could put some readers off and we don't want that.
Check out the other authors here and you will see how they present their stories. 
I look forward to reading more from you.
Well done at taking your first steps of publishing one of your stories / fantasies. :-*