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LOVE: we use the same word for man-womam,mother-child, child-parent, and I-mankind relations-rightly, because they are a continuous spectrum. In takling about sexual relations, it seems right to apply it to any relationship in which there is a mutual tenderness, respeact and consideration  from a total interdependence where the daeth of one maims the other years, to an agreeable night togrther .The intergrades are all love, all worthy, all part of human experience.Some meet the needs of one person, some of another or of the same person at different times.that;s reallythe big problem of sexualethica,and its basicallya problemof self understanding and of communication. You cant assume that your conditions of love areapplicable to, or accepted by,any other party;you cant assume that these won;t be changed quite unpredictably in bothof youby the experience of loving, you cant necessarily know your own mind.If  you are going to love, these are risks you have to take, and dont depend simply on whether or not you have sextogether.. though that is such a potentially overwhelming experience that tradition is right in pinpointing it..sometimes two people know each other very well, or think they've worked things out by discussion, and they may be right .But even so if it's dignifiable by the name of love it's potentillally an open ended experience.. Tradition has tried to cut the casualties by laying down all kinds of scedules of morality, but these never work 100per cent..

LOVE PART 2; Nor are they of mush use in classifying merits of different kinds of a relationship. Romantic sentimentalism made  a whole generation see love as a kind of takeover bid by one individual for another.Some moderns in revolt from this are , like Casanova , so hung up on no hangups that they wont accept the essentail openness of a real relationship between people.. If sexual love can be the supreme human experience, it must be also a bit hazardous. It can give us our best and worst moments.. In this respect its like mountain climbing over timid people miss the whole experience,reasonably balanced and hardy people acceptthe risks for the rewards, but realize that theres a difference between this and being foolhardy. Love, moreover involves someone else's neck beside your own.. At least you  can make as sure as may be that you don't exploit or injure someone  you don't take a novice climbing and abamdon them halfway up when things get difficult..Getting them to sign a form of consent before they start isn't an answer either.. There was a hell of a lot to be said for the English Victorian idea of not being a cad (person devoid of finer or gentlemanly feelings ) A cab can be of either sex. Marriage between two rival each trying to produce the other regardless, isn't love..The relationship between a prostitute and a casual where, for reasons they don't quite get, real tenderness and respect occur,, is ..       NEXT WEEK  PART WILL BE ABOUT FIDELITY

Fidelity, infidelity and so on. I'm deliberately not gone  into the ethics of lifestyle. The facts are that few men and slightly more women in our
culture go through life with sexual experience confined to one partner only. What suits a particular couple depends on their needs, situation, anxieties and so on.. These needs are a particularly delicate problem in communication;  if mutual comperhension is complete and ongoing you can
countyourselves lucky... Active deception always hurts a relationship..Complete frankness which is aimed to avoid guilt or as an act of aggression against a partner can do the same.. The real problem arise from the fact that sexual relations canbe anything, for different people and on different occasions,, from a game to a totalfusion of identities;  the heartaches arise when each partner sees itdifferently.. There is no sexual relationship which doesn"t involve responsibility,  because there are two or more people involved.. anything which, as it were, militantly excludes a paetner is hurtful,,yet to be whole people we have at some point to avoid total fusion with each other and neither of us is on earth to live up to the other"s expectations.. People who communicate sexually have to find their own fidelities..All I can suggest is that you discuss them so that at least you know where each of you stands...   next week "Women" By a Women for men

Women By a Women for Men

Women, like men, have direct physical responses, sure, but these are different and can"t be short circuited. It matters to them who doing what, far more then it does to most men. The fact that, unlike you, we can"t be visibly turned off and lose erection ofter confuses men into hurrying things or missing major resources. It isn"t ture that nudity, erotica, ect, don"t excite women_ probably the difference is that they aren"t overriding things.Is it fair,I wonder, to give a simple instance? You can make orgiastically satisfactory love with a near strager in half an hour flat. But please don:t think of that reason that you can do the same for a women who loves you personally if at the end of the half hour you put her into a taxi with a bunch of roses and go off to a wife. Grantedthis, however, there are common reactions.
We seem to be less heavily programmed then you for specific turn ons, but once we see one of these working on a man we care about, we soon program it into our own response, and can be lass rigid and more experimental because of this ability.
Ofter if women seem underactive it"s because they"re scared of doing the wrong thing with that particular man,like touching up his penis when in fact he"s trying not to ejaculate__tell us if you see us at a loss. 

The penis isn"t a weapon for us so much as a shared possession, rather like a child,, it"s less the size then personality, unpredictable movements and moods which make up the turn on(which is why rubber dummies are so sickening).Another important  thing is tough tender mixture; obviously strength is a turn on, but clumsiness is the dead opposite. You never get anywhere by clumsy brutality; however brutal good lovemaking somethimes looks the turn on is strength-skill-control, not large bruises; and the ability to be tender with it..Some people ask Tough or tender? but the mood shifts so fast you"ve you got to be  able to sense it..Surely its possible because some lovers do it to read this balance from the feel of the women.No obsessive views about reciprocity who comes on top, ect, dors in eact ever out during the passing of time;; there can be long spells when one enjoys and is happy to let him do the work, and others when you need to control everythingyourself and take an extra kick from seeing how you make him respond..
Women aren"t masochistic any more then men.. If they"we knuckled under in the past its only through social pressures.If they"ve sadistic, they unfortunately don"t act it out in bed by wearing spurs and cracking a whip (any girl who does this is doing it as a male turn on) they"re more likely to express it as no saying or nagging, which contributes to nobodys orgasm..Men have a real advantage here in the constructive use of play( and can help women to act it out too). Since we all have some aggressions, good sex can be wildly violent but still never cruel.. A little fightening helps some people sometimes.. Anyhow the old idea of man as a raper and women as rapee being built in is contrary to all experience in a world where role swapping is general.
AS to the sexual equality bit, nobody can possibly be a good lover or a whole man  if he doesn"t regard women as (a) people and (b)equals. That is really all there is to be said.
Our sense of smell is the keener don"t oversaturate early on with masculine odors; just before orgasm is probably the time for full odor contact.. Our own smell excites us as well as yours..
The sort of hand and mouthwork which men like varies enormously..Some like it very rough, some hate it anything but extremel gentle,, others in between. There is no way for a women to tell except by asking and be told.. so its up to the man to say what he likes or he may get the opposite..
Some men are extraordinarily passive or unimaginative,or inhibited and oddly when they are any of thses thing, we do not become correspondingly aggressive.. We may long to do thingd and feel thoroughly frustrated, but we won"t dare show it in most cases..So a womans lovemaking will only be good with a good lover and more important she will resent any man who is unexciting not only because he is unexciting too.
Finally, just as all women are more alike to a man then all men are to women, women probably really do differ sexually rather more then men,  because of the greater complexity of their sexual apparatus.. Never assume you dont need to relearn for each person. This is true for women with a new man, but perhaps a little less so .   NEXT TIME MOUTH MUSIC 

Lydia didnt realize how knowledgeable you are on subjects that interest you. Keep it up

thanks Ssgt; I will think about posting more

Wow Lydia that was incredibly helpful thank you I'll openly admit to not knowing much about women especially in the bedroom but I am keen to learn as much as I can for when I do find the right lady.

@Lydiarose:

Would you please take a second look at your post before posting the next time, I honestly had some trouble reading and keeping track of what you where saying as they are now.

Please don't take it the wrong way but it makes things easier for everyone else if you write in a way that is easy to read.

    

Actually, that was meant for Lydiarose... sorry if that wasn't clear.

Oh ok sorry

See you changed your pic,  Is that beautiful young lady you?