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The forums Quizz, Fav TV, Fav Music, Fav Films, Books… Things that make you smile & giggle

Viewing 15 posts - 181 through 195 (of 452 total)
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  • #164262
    Soniaslut
    Participant

      [img]https://i.imgur.com/V6wkzrr.jpg?1[/img]

      #164448
      JessiCapri
      Participant

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        Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
        A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

        Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
        A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

        Q. Do female frogs croak?
        A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

        Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
        A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

        Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
        A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

        Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
        A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

        Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
        A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

        Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
        A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

        Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
        A.George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

        Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
        A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

        Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
        A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

        Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
        A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

        Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
        A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

        Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
        A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

        Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
        A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

        Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
        A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

        Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
        A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

        Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
        A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

        Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
        A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

        Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
        A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

        Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
        A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

        #164449
        JessiCapri
        Participant

          mru5WKS.jpg

          #164450
          JessiCapri
          Participant

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            #164451
            JessiCapri
            Participant

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              #164434
              Soniaslut
              Participant

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                #164452
                JessiCapri
                Participant

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                  #164453
                  Zuzannah
                  Participant

                    During the Coronation of Queen Liz, the Queen mother and the king of Tonga were sitting together in a carriage.

                    At some point the horse pulling the carriage did an ENORMOUS fart.

                    The Queen mother says to the Tongan King “I'm Sorry”

                    The Tongan King looks at her and says “Oh, I thought it was the Horse”

                    Billy Connelly.

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHfllwAUdIM&ab_channel=myourek

                    #164454
                    Vaughan
                    Moderator

                      [img]https://media1.tenor.com/images/9abdf24cb2ebfe6bdebbe980b07c9f70/tenor.gif?itemid=4402351[/img]

                      #164455
                      JessiCapri
                      Participant

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                        #164456
                        JessiCapri
                        Participant

                          a8ZifI2.jpg

                          #164457
                          JessiCapri
                          Participant

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                            #164458
                            JessiCapri
                            Participant

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                              #164459
                              JessiCapri
                              Participant

                                This is Soooo ME. lol

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                                #164460
                                JessiCapri
                                Participant

                                  Also me…lol

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                                The forums Quizz, Fav TV, Fav Music, Fav Films, Books… Things that make you smile & giggle