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Messages - anniethyme
16
« on: April 18, 2015, 01:50:17 PM »
Tommy,
Never be hesitant to send me foolish questions. Those are the best kinds. I am jealous that I cannot attend said party with you, surely they need a Queen of Thorns. Oh well, let me know how it is.
Woody,
Thank you, dearie. I shall tattoo your # on my palm so its ready if I get booked again.
Brandy,
WHERE DID YOU get that video??? They told me they'd delete it after we had our fun. Damn liars!
Jinger,
Did you get a sausage pizza delivered to you? Oh my, I forgot to tip the delivery guy. I hope he made it.
17
« on: April 18, 2015, 09:37:17 AM »
Dear Haggis-Loving Tommy, 1. I was on Spring Break. Duh.....  2. I went to Google, typed in image search "haggis", then pointed to the 7th picture result. You should try it sometime. Warning: there are many other pictures of said item atop lettuce. It's called GOOGLE. www.google.com is the address. Then go to the image tab. Tell your friends too! 3. Oh yes, dearie. I'm surprised you don't already know some yourself. If it hardens, it makes a nice rugby ball.  If it hardens, paint a scaley design in green, yellow or red and bring it to a Game of Thrones party as your dragon egg.  And if its still soft, and your wifey is away, its a good flesh-sack. You ever see the movie American Pie? Like that.  Love, Granny
18
« on: January 31, 2015, 12:02:39 AM »
Dear Stacy, Forgiveness depends on the giver. Who do u seek it from? The injured people? Your parents? A higher spirit? Have you forgiven yourself?  And then there is the follow-up issue: can all be forgotten? You may not have a clean slate, but you can move forward and strive to be a good, good girl. Love, Granny
19
« on: January 23, 2015, 08:42:22 AM »
Oh Marilyn, I found a new possible design for menswear, from Rick Owens new SS15 collection.  Love, Granny
20
« on: January 22, 2015, 12:23:09 AM »
New commercial where a girl talks about her car, Brad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxd49IRu02E (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxd49IRu02E)
21
« on: January 20, 2015, 06:57:22 AM »
Dear Ms. Monroe,
Of course I give fashion advice. I've seen every trend come and go since the gay 20's. What is lacking is the details of your question:
What type of party? And what's your body type?
Speaking of trends,
Option A is very trendy right now, tho this one is a more avante garde version and the color of a tangerine. This is a good option if you have a few lumps to hide, but a bit of cleavage to show. But it seems more "bedroom robe" than "party dress" to me, unless the theme is Spanish Flamenco.
Option B is a modern take on a retro Charo look, taken up to the capri length, but with just enough gauche to scream "I'm a cheap whore for rich cock" which is a definite winner for any type of party.
Option C is only an option if the party is "Bi-curious Japanese schoolboy manga" themed. Or, if its an accordion players fetish convention. Is that a Thom Browne design?
I'd say the best bet for an achat design is Option B.
Love,
Granny
22
« on: January 20, 2015, 05:00:27 AM »
Dear Jinger, So, you are the hussy mentioned in Tango's letter? Oh dear, this is not what granny intended at all. But if I am reading this correctly, you have 2 complaints: 1. need to buy shoes and boots A: What? You don't have enough already? That's why god created Mail-Order, dearie.  I saved this mail order catalogue from my days as a young lady. Prices still good! 2. black and blue A: That girl in 50 shades was indeed black and blue after being in the red room. Didn't you read it all like I did?  Now, let's get to the real problem... Is he spending more time on you than his Angelina? If so, at least that problem was solved. In the meantime, I'll order some pizza delivery to you.  Love, Granny
23
« on: January 18, 2015, 06:42:50 PM »
I'm sure my bum is more hairy than his. I should have accepted.
24
« on: January 17, 2015, 10:45:19 PM »
Sorry, dearie. I was busy taking selfies. We are just so darn hot together. I had to prove it to the girls in the Bridge club.  Love, Granny
25
« on: January 17, 2015, 02:36:35 PM »
Dear Cherry, Q: Why do some guys think it’s OK to force your head while you’re giving them head? A: Clearly, because you have not bitten down yet.  Q: Why do guys feel threatened by vibrators, but no woman is intimidated by a flesh light? A: Men realize, deep down, that we are sick of their shit and they fear being replaced. Their dick is the only thing that we don't have biologically, and now we have it mechanically. A Friday night date with a man can be replaced with a good book, a nice chianti, box of chocolates and a dildo. We don't fear being replaced, because most men cannot afford a sexdoll yet, and it can't make them sammiches.  Q: Is to much masturbation bad for you? A: Only if you ever hope to please a partner in bed.  Q: Why do women care about penis size when about 75 percent only get off from clitoral stimulation? A: I don't know where you see that women care about it. I just read 4 sites of hundreds of opinions, and most prefer average. They mostly dislike when its extremely big or small. I dated a Greek man with a small wiener, long ago, and not only did I not feel him go in, but then he didn't even stimulate clitorally or try cunnilingus. Tnat's when we care.  Q: I fantasize about my frineds husband. I feel guilty but I cant stop this craving I have for him. what should I do. I would not hurt my friend ? A: They say every person has a "twin" out there, so you need to find his. Also, stop being friends with them.  Evil Spock is even sexier! Love, Granny
26
« on: January 17, 2015, 02:03:17 AM »
Confession -
I am reading all your confessions to know what kind of pervs are here, and how I can help them.
27
« on: January 17, 2015, 01:48:25 AM »
Dear Foxy,
Thank you, dearie. I just love that you made a shirt to show your support of me, I just wish it had been a picture of me when I was wearing a bra. The girls need a bit more support than they used to.
I am not related to Albert, but I did go to the same hairstylist as him, which is how we met, and well, let's just say that I inspired his paper "On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies" after one hot summer night in Antwerp.
I do have time to date, but only after my duties are done. I was supposed to have a nice dinner date last night with my new gentleman caller, but we began by hot kissing and forgot about the dinner food as we ate each other instead. And oh, I have said too much.
Well, thank you so much dearie.
Love,
Granny
28
« on: January 17, 2015, 01:40:50 AM »
Dear Lover, Oh the feels! Sometimes they can be overwhelming, I know. I've had more than my share, sonny boy. You ARE in a circle: Exercise --> Horny --> Sex --> Exhaustion --> The Feels --> Desire to lose the burden --> Exercise ... Granny's circle: Eat bran muffins --> Shit --> Feel empty inside --> Eat donuts --> Shit ... Famous Circles of Life:Native American:  This one is akin to yours, but you seem to be missing the connection to the spirit Values. I am sure it is there, you just need to be made aware of it. Plants/Animals/Food:  Yes, we eat dog poo. The Lion King:  It's the Ciiiiiiiiiircle of Liiiiiiiiiiife, and it moves us aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll, through despair and hooooooooppppe, through faith and loooooooove Simple solutionsYou don’t have to give up exercising to preserve your sexual sanity. In fact, you can break the vicious cycle of exercising and sexual addiction by taking a few simple precautions. - Don’t use a penis with a long narrow shaft. Pick a wide butt, ideally with plenty of padding. Special gel-filled and shock-absorbing butt implants are even available.
- Don’t tilt your penis upward, a position that increases pressure on the perineum.
- Be sure your penis is at the correct height, so your legs aren’t completely extended at the bottom of your missionary stroke.
- For extra protection, consider wearing padded yoga pants.
- Shift your position and take breaks during long rides.
- Above all, be alert for early warning symptoms. If you experience tingling or numbness in your “privates”, get off your partner.
- If the problem recurs even with a broad, padded, well-positioned partner, consider switching to a recumbent sexdoll.
Perhaps the best advice is to make sexual activity part of a balanced fitness program instead of relying on it exclusively. Alternate running with sucking, dogging and heavy petting. Climb off your stationary partner and get on a treadmill, swing, or rowing machine. Exercising a few simple precautions will ensure that your passion for exercise doesn’t interfere with your passion in the bedroom. Love, Granny p.s. Nice shirt you have on.
29
« on: January 16, 2015, 08:21:39 AM »
That IS kind, if he was offering to do it to you. probably not though.
Last week I got asked, "my ass for yours?"
From a male.
30
« on: January 16, 2015, 01:00:27 AM »
Dear Mrs. Stone, It sounds to me, dearie, like you got one of them, GOOD PROBLEMS, as we call it. Oh, if only I could find me a man to discuss the cause and effects of quantum field theory while en flagrante delecto. But I digress... this is about you and your lover. So.... you are ok with calling him Bertie... ok. I think it's wonderful that you are so tolerant of your partner's desires. So nice. He screams E=MC hardddddd. That's problem #1. It's supposed to be E=MC ^2, so perhaps you are supposed to yell back "Squared" after he does his part. Maybe this is why he's unable to answer any cosmic questions. He is saying this at the height of his use of his energy, and its dependent on the sum of the mass of your 2 bodies, multiplied by the speed, then squared. So, I think he wants you to go faster, dearie.  Third, I am trying to figure out why you are doing it in a parking lot in the woods. And who is watching? I'm not sure I can advise your further on this til I understand the scenario better.  That's some kinky shit, girl. I think that's your real problem. Love, Granny
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