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Topics - AusWoody
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« on: February 06, 2017, 06:15:57 PM »
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« on: November 30, 2016, 07:35:38 AM »
Formula One Tipping Contest GRAND PRIX COUNTDOWN. http://www.f1widget.com/ http://whenisf1on.com/
Unlimited Places available @ A$ 10 per race payable in advance gifted to Osiris_Forum (ie 21 races X A$10 = A$210)
Provisional Schedule Round | Date | Place | | | 1 | 26 March | Melbourne, Australia | 2 | 9 April | Shanghai, China | 3 | 16 April | Bahrain, Bahrain | 4 | 30 April | Sochi, Russia | 5 | 14 May | Barcelona, Spain | 6 | 28 May | Monte Carlo, Monaco | 7 | 11 June | Montreal, Canada* | 8 | 18 June | Baku, Azerbaijan | 9 | 2 July | Spielberg, Austria | 10 | 9 July | Silverstone, United Kingdom | 11 | 23 July | Budapest, Hungary | 12 | 30 July | Hockenheim, Germany* | 13 | 27 August | Spa-Francorchamps, Belgium | 14 | 3 September | Monza, Italy | 15 | 17 September | Sepang, Malaysia | 16 | 1 October | Singapore, Singapore | 17 | 8 October | Suzuka, Japan | 18 | 22 October | Austin, USA | 19 | 5 November | Mexico City, Mexico | 20 | 12 November | Sao Paolo, Brazil* | 21 | 26 November | Abu Dhabi, UAE |
* Subject to confirmation
Tipping Participants
Players | Total | Driver | Score | Total | | AusWoody | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | We have a live random driver draw at The Square, every Wednesday before the race and we also enjoy Race night there. Its all good fun & a great way to meet & make new friends. Keep an eye on this topic for details.
Remember the Live Driver Draw & Race is on at The Square - http://achatsquare.chatango.com -
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« on: September 11, 2016, 07:08:53 AM »
Samantha97 asked me to post this on their behalf. i am just the reporter not part of it in any way
Well everyone I have something to say... jeff66 / samantha97 is both me... I never wanted to hurt anyone was not my goal...
I made Sam for a reason... if you would like to ask me about it sometime feel free to do so... but also keep in mind 90% of the women on here are men...
90% of the people on here have multiple avatars... some people play 2 and 3 at a time i never did when i play me i focused on the person i was with they were always worth my time.. Did I have real feelings YES...?
When I was with someone gender of the other was never asked by me and never will be... I think it’s the person not the gender that makes your avatar... So I will stay away from group see who Jeff / Sams friends are drop me off your list if you never want to see me again... i'll understand... will i change names NO will I play Sam / Jeff YES for now... If you’re looking for a real woman / man it's simple as to skype they can’t hide it doesn’t trust phone calls...
My children have apps to disguise your voice... if it true loves you looking for here good luck i wish you all the best
further :-
When I joined this place I was male, I was a newbie just like all the others. I couldn’t get a girl, I didn’t know why, I was learning Was I not doing it right? Was I saying wrong things? I didn’t know So I made a female, I needed to hear how other played I needed to learn, I began to understand it
In the meantime I met some amazing people I made great friends with both male / female I couldn’t find it possible to drop Sam without losing my friends So I kept her I dropped all my lovers//spouses and just kept friends
So sadly that’s how Sam came to be People always connected with Sam not Jeff
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« on: September 03, 2016, 03:43:19 AM »
I was sitting in my History class today and my teacher is giving the class the lecture about history. He was talking about how the history before America is important. That America's history helps you understand what is going on today. It's like missing the first 20 minutes of a movie, you wouldn't understand it if you missed the first part. You wouldn't get the rest of the movie.
This lesson can be used as you meet people. Without someone's past history, you'll never understand why that person is that way, or why they act like that... I just thought of all those people judged and how many people judge me.
No one really knows who a person is until you really get to know them do they? We get judged all the time for just the way we act, and the way we look. We are called names and rumours spread, about us, and it's not what they say that annoys me, it's that they say stuff in general.
None of those people know the real me, no matter what they think. The people that really know me love my crazy side and my strange qualities. They know my past and understand me as a person. They don't judge. I hate when these people think they know me just by looking at me. I have been through things that created the person i am today. I don't cringe away from my history, no matter good or bad. People can't shame me about it either, and before you decide to look at a person and decide that getting to know them is not worth your time, think about the things that they might've been through.
I always try to get to know a person, before i decide to brush them off. A persons past is very important in who they are. Someone’s history is important. Wow, history does teach you things. Others history teaches you something. Your history teaches you something. Just remember that next time you label someone
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« on: August 19, 2016, 02:06:03 AM »
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am". The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".
"You must be a technician." said the balloonist. "I am" replied the man "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."
The man below responded, "You must be in management". "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fucking fault!
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« on: July 21, 2016, 08:55:28 AM »
just a heads up Conversation started today Golding Janice Marie 23:13 Golding Janice Marie Hello how are you doing??? AusWoody 23:15 AusWoody im doing great Golding Janice Marie 23:17 Golding Janice Marie My name is Golding from the Facebook headquarters based in the USA, I am a Facebook Online Coordinator. .I was assigned to contact you by the Facebook CEO Mr Mark Zuckerberg.. I contacted you because i have some vital information to pass to you concerning your Facebook account. AusWoody 23:30 AusWoody which is Golding Janice Marie 23:30 Golding Janice Marie Has any of our agent contacted you before concerning your winnings from the Facebook Company? AusWoody 23:31 AusWoody no Golding Janice Marie 23:31 Golding Janice Marie The promotion going on is to show a sign of appreciation to our valuable Facebook users using Facebook to their famliy and loved ones and making Facebook their number one choice Your profile was selected among the five(5)lucky winners that was selected randomly for the winnings AusWoody 23:31 AusWoody ok Golding Janice Marie 23:32 Golding Janice Marie I am delighted to inform you that your name was luckily selected among the Five(5) lucky winners who won the sum of Six Hundred Thousand United State Dollars($600,000,00) AusWoody 23:32 AusWoody well lucky me Golding Janice Marie 23:32 Golding Janice Marie Your name was selected by Mr Mark Zuckerberg the CEO of Face book (Founder & Chief Executive Officer )and the promotion was made to make all face book user benefit from the gain of the Company,The company Named (face book) is the first and ever largest means of meeting both old and new friends. AusWoody 23:33 AusWoody great Golding Janice Marie 23:33 Golding Janice Marie I want you to know that this is 100% real and legitimate.. Golding Janice Marie 23:34 Golding Janice Marie This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants and scam artists all participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individuals email addresses from all over the world. This promotional program takes place every three years. You may be rest assured that this is real and legal. There are some scam artists around but thanks to the FBI, 3000 of them have been arrested. AusWoody 23:35 AusWoody well you understand in a trifle sceptical i been online over 20 yrs Golding Janice Marie 23:35 Golding Janice Marie I really understand you,That's why we keep contacting our winners this very way and all is for security reasons,You have no problem with me.. AusWoody 23:36 AusWoody ok Golding Janice Marie 23:36 Golding Janice Marie I am your claims officer and i am here to take you through the steps on how you will get your winnings. AusWoody 23:37 AusWoody great 1 question why did you creat a new accounty Golding Janice Marie 23:38 Golding Janice Marie I want you to know i was assigned specially to contact you for security reason Are you ready to claim your winnings??? AusWoody 23:39 AusWoody yes Golding Janice Marie 23:39 Golding Janice Marie Firstly you will have to write this numbers down because it is important and compulsory. Lucky Number (deleted) Ticket Number (deleted) Serial Number (deleted) Winning Number (deleted) AusWoody 23:42 AusWoody ok Golding Janice Marie 23:43 Golding Janice Marie Do write it down now and get back to me as soon as you are done. AusWoody 23:43 AusWoody done Golding Janice Marie 23:44 Golding Janice Marie You are to choose one of the two listed payment option below and your winnings shall be packaged in accordance to the option you choose: Payment Options/Preferred mode of payment 1. Diplomatic Courier Delivery (CHECK DELIVERY) 2. Diplomatic Courier Delivery (ATM CARD DELIVERY) AusWoody 23:45 AusWoody ill take it via ATM cards as long as they are usable in Australia Golding Janice Marie 23:47 Golding Janice Marie Yes there are usable around the global world AusWoody 23:47 AusWoody ok Golding Janice Marie 23:48 Golding Janice Marie For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your prize released to you. Keep it secret. Keep it safe. AusWoody 23:48 AusWoody ok that is understasndable Golding Janice Marie 23:49 Golding Janice Marie I want you to know that your CHECK and some other relevant documents as regards to your winnings will be deliver to you by the FedEx Courier Company.. AusWoody 23:49 AusWoody ok Golding Janice Marie 23:51 Golding Janice Marie You will be Required to send Your Home Address you want them to deliver your winnings,Your Email Address and Mobile Number.... AusWoody 23:51 AusWoody to you ? now Golding Janice Marie 23:52 Golding Janice Marie Yes AusWoody 23:52 AusWoody personal details deleted Golding Janice Marie 23:55 Golding Janice Marie Okay good i want you to know the information have be forwarded to the delivery company but i want you to know before your winnings will be delivered to your door step you will pay for delivery fee in which can`t be deducted from your winnings prize AusWoody 23:56 AusWoody ahhhh ok Golding Janice Marie 23:57 Golding Janice Marie The delivery fee is the sum of $300 once you get that sent your winnings will be delivered to your door step in the next 12 hours without no any further form of delay as promised so are you ready to get that sent so that i can instruct you on how to get that done??? AusWoody 23:58 AusWoody sure Golding Janice Marie 23:59 Golding Janice Marie Okay i want you to know your will be getting the fee sent through western union or money gram to the delivery agent information so did you need the delivery agent information you will be sending the fee too? ? Are you still there??? I was born at night but it wasnt LAST night lol
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« on: July 10, 2016, 05:02:53 AM »
I have no idea how this happened but it did!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVSRm80WzZk
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« on: July 03, 2016, 06:43:51 PM »
As happy as I am of Achat on the whole, I am constantly frustrated with the forum coding, it is to say the least its BASIC and well outdated!
Is it possible to upgrade the coding to allow a lot more creativity and ease of use say html 5 compatible and if this forum package is not upgradeable is there a better one that can be used to replace it?
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« on: June 02, 2016, 10:51:46 AM »
let's start this thread off with the basics of online relationships
Firstly let's look at the phases of online relationships:
- Phase 1 - kid in a candy store screws anyone that stands still long enough..
- Phase 2 - has a stable of regular partners
- Phase 3 - Priority Lover or Spouse, Non Exclusive.
1. The Spouse has priority over all others. They ARE above ALL others. Other lovers / friend with or without fringe benefits, are made aware of their lowlier position.
2. In a dispute, the Spouse will be sided with in public. (Any disagreements to be conducted in private for resolving.) Never show your Spouse up or undermine them in public.
3. If a Spouse’s position is disrespected or threatened by a Spouse partner’s lover etc.., then the partner Spouse will take side with the injured Spouse and either - deal with the lover to their Spouse’s satisfaction & remind the lover of their secondary or lowlier position OR divorce the Spouse. The Spouse Must Always Be Priority.
4. If you are roomed / fucking and your Spouse arrives, you will make your excuses and leave the room to go to your Spouse. You will keep an agreed form of contact open while you are in a room with others. (The wardrobe secret entry aka PM) You will know this by contacting each other in The Square and or Forum Village PM. Never keep your Spouse waiting unless they have agreed to it.
The arriving Spouse, however, will respect the room and on making contact with the Spouse inside will wait patiently a reasonable amount of time for them to finish and make their excuses to leave. They will not chatter, while the other Spouse is ending a fuck or room.
5. Never room / fuck an ex-Spouse without the agreement of your current Spouse prior to doing so.
- Phase 4 - exclusive spouse
- Phase 5 - real life meeting
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« on: May 16, 2016, 01:56:11 PM »
i am posting this for various reasons, discussion opinion and educatrion May 11, 2016
Former Chief Psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins Has Bad News for Caitlyn Jenner Dr. Paul R. McHugh, former psychiatrist in chief for Johns Hopkins Hospital, has an opinion about former Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner’s recent announcement that is sure to upset the many crusading for the transgender movement.
McHugh not only believes that changing sexes is biologically impossible, he also believes those identifying themselves as transgender actually have a mental disorder.
McHugh, author of six books and over 125 peer-reviewed medical journal articles, wrote in a Wall Street Journal piece that surgery is not a solution for those wishing to live as the opposite sex.
McHugh wrote that these people believing they can choose their sex suffer from a “disorder of assumption.”
In the piece, he also quoted a study claiming that transgendered people undergoing reassignment surgery are 20 times more likely to commit suicide than non-transgendered people. (H/T BizPac Review)
McHugh also said that while Hollywood and the mainstream media promote transgenderism as normal, they are doing no favors to these people by treating their “confusions” as a right rather than treating them as a mental disorder that deserves treatment and prevention.
The doctor considers the transgendered person’s “assumption” that they are “different than the physical reality of their body “a disorder similar to someone suffering anorexia nervosa.
McHugh claims that pro-transgender advocates do not want to accept the fact that studies indicate between 70 and 80 percent of children who express transgender feelings lose such feelings over time.
Changing sexes is impossible, according to the doctor and all transgendered people do is “become feminized men or masculinized women.”
In addition, those who had sexual reassignment surgery and felt satisfied with the results of that surgery fared no better in their psycho-social adjustments than those who didn’t have surgery.
Because of these studies, Hopkins stopped doing sex-reassignment surgery, the doctor said.
While certain people will disagree with Dr. McHugh’s statements, more will probably agree. But the liberal media will likely try to smother those who find such transitions troubling and embrace actions that add to the moral decay of our country.
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« on: April 23, 2016, 10:31:59 PM »
Firstly i would like to apologise to Brandybee, xxxx and xxxxx for my doubts regarding the duplicate ip's thanks to jaynies research and diligence the following article has been found explaining why the ip's are the same
Brandy asked me not to post this but i feel it needs to be posted so people will know the truth in this matter. Special thanks to Jaynie for finding this article and bringing it to my attention.
Again ladies my apologies i know the damage is done, no excuses just a simple apology
ITS OVER, FINISHED, BASTA
UK ISP BT Quietly Forces CGNAT IPv4 Internet Address Sharing Pilot
Customers of BT Retail’s Total Broadband Option 1 package have reportedly become experimental subjects for the ISP’s new pilot of the controversial IPv4 internet address sharing (Carrier Grade NAT) technology, which could cause problems because it allows a single IP address to be shared between several users.
Most fixed line ISPs assign a unique Internet Protocol (IP) address to your connection each time you go online via the IPv4 (Internet Protocol version 4) standard. Sadly these addresses are running out and its replacement, IPv6, is not directly compatible with the old standard.
As a result ISPs will need to run dual-stack networks, which allow both the IPv4 and IPv6 standards to communicate, although this also means that IPv4 addresses are still likely to be needed for quite a few years to come.
Meanwhile the number of spare IPv4’s is still in decline and many ISPs are expected to solve this by adopting CGNAT to help share the remaining IPv4 addresses (much as mobile broadband operators already do). ISPreview.co.uk wrote a fairly extensive article about all this in January 2013 – The Dangers of Adopting IPv4 Internet Address Sharing.
BTRetail Statement on CGNAT (Thinkbroadband)
“We have decided that we will pilot this new technology with our Option 1 Total Broadband customers who on average use the internet least. We believe they are the least likely group of customers to experience any issues or disruptions due to CGNAT, which can interfere with complex online activities like hosting servers at home. We do not think these customers will notice any difference at all in their broadband performance, but if any of these customers did have any resulting issues, we would be happy to restore their connection to an individual IP address.
BT is also working to introduce IPv6 internet addresses during 2013, but customers will need both IPv4 and IPv6 addresses for the foreseeable future.”
BT specifically states that “certain” customers will find that they could be sharing a single IP address with up to nine other users, although happily those who wish to opt-out of the seemingly enforced pilot can do so by visiting their related CGNAT FAQ Page and filling-in an opt-out form (you might well wish to do this).
The ISP claims to be “confident that you’ll not notice any impact to the reliability, speed, privacy or security of your BT Broadband service“, although it immediately contradicts this a few lines later by saying, “some applications, such as online games, VPNs, file transfer (FTP) or dynamic DNS services … may have problems” (note to BT: online multiplayer games are pretty popular).
One problem is that some internet services, such as those mentioned above (or other things like web-polls and online authentication systems), assume that every user will have a unique IP address and this can cause problems for those who don’t. For example, if somebody “sharing” you IP is banned from a service then you too could end up suffering from the same restriction. Port forwarding on your router, which is often needed for some online games and other services, can also run into difficulties with CGNAT.
In reality this may be a problem that ISPs, especially the big boys, cannot easily avoid and indeed most have already expressed a desire to adopt this solution. As a result internet providers are putting a lot of effort into ensuring that their chosen method does not disrupt services for existing customers, although some problems may be unavoidable. Check out our above linked article for more detail and extended feedback from ISPs.
In an ideal world ISPs might offer a special non-CGNAT service for customers, such as online gamers, who want to be able to use the internet as it was intended. At least BT has, for now, had the good sense to give their customers an opt-out solution.
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« on: March 29, 2016, 01:37:18 AM »
Personally i don’t care what image or clothes you wear, my whole point was YOU choose, Too many of you are listening to others then start changing what you wear how you speak, until every bloke looks talk walks smells the same like clones or a robot.
There are enough blokes who choose to mimic some of the more known members thinking if they look the same they will be as popular as them. and it’s just not true it’s the person in the game that is popular for WHO THEY ARE not what they wear or their hairstyle ect. Have a look around every second guy wears a vest and jeans now as a cowboy.
THATS OK if it’s their choice but to listen to some one else’s idea of what you should look like and follow slavishly and turning themselves into "what" she wants is just beyond my understanding.
Being a pirate or a skeleton or a trekie or a clown or even vary them with every breath. BUT BE WHO YOU ARE not what someone else thinks you should be, Keep it real and be yourself these are the thing that will build long term friendships here
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« on: March 05, 2016, 03:39:16 AM »
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« on: February 22, 2016, 03:17:01 PM »
came across this article today, very interesting in that it can explain some of the strange actions in relationships
Science of the Spirit
Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths - protect yourself
Dr Jane and Tim McGregor Addiction Today Wed, 30 Oct 2013 00:08 UTC Image © Fotolia Olly The empathy trap: therapists and counselors almost by definition are empathic, to facilitate clients' recovery - but this quality can mean those carers are targets for sociopaths, aided by what Dr Jane & Tim McGregor call "apaths". The first UK article on this cruel sport shows how to identify and thus avoid it.
People targeted by a sociopath often respond with self-deprecating comments like "I was stupid", "what was I thinking" of "I should've listened to my gut instinct". But being involved with a sociopath is like being brainwashed. The sociopath's superficial charm is usually the means by which s/he conditions people.
Comment: Tragically, the shame and embarrassment of having been conned and duped often keeps people quiet about what happened to them, which then further obscures the machinations of the sociopaths and results in other people getting duped by them as well. If people got over this shame and embarrassment, they could network with others about these predators and then they would be exposed for what they are and less able to destroy the lives of others.
On initial contact, a sociopath will often test other people's empathy, so questions geared towards discovering if you are highly empathic or not should ring alarm bells. People with a highly empathic disposition are often targeted. Those with lower levels of empathy are often passed over, though they can be drawn in and used by sociopaths as part of their cruel entertainment.
Sociopaths make up 25% of the prison population, committing over twice as many aggressive acts as other criminals. The reoffending rate of sociopaths is about double that of other offenders, and for violent crimes it is triple.
But not all sociopaths are found in prison. There is the less-visible burden of sociopath-induced emotional trauma which, if left unchecked, can lead to anxiety disorders, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Comment: In fact, one could argue that only the sociopath/psychopath "failures" are in prison, while the successful ones, through their chronic lies, deception, and manipulation, remain free to torment others and destroy lives. As renowned psychopathy expert Robert Hare, author of Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us and Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work, has said: "If I wasn't studying psychopaths in prison, I'd do it at the stock exchange"
Chronically traumatized people often exhibit hyper-vigilant, anxious and agitated behavior, symptoms such as tension headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances, abdominal pain, back pain, tremors and nausea.
Exposure to and interaction with a sociopath in childhood can leave lifelong scars. This can apply to people in therapy - and for those who in recovery trained as therapists, re-exposure as an adult can trigger old emotions and PTSD.
This article is not about sociopaths per se but about surviving the harm they cause.
Everyday sociopaths
Many sociopaths wreak havoc in a covert way, so that their underlying condition remains hidden for years. They can possess a superficial charm, and this diverts attention from disturbing aspects of their nature.
The following case history illustrates how people can be systematically targeted until they feel they can barely trust their own sense of reality - what we call "gaslighting". Sociopathic abuse is targeted abuse. It can wreck lives. Victims can become survivors, but at huge cost.
At school, 'James' took a dislike to a classmate, 'Sam', who was sensitive and popular. He would mock him for auditioning for the school play or for getting upset over failing a test. The situation deteriorated when it became known that Sam's parents were separating. Sam appeared to be taking it with fortitude, to the admiration of his peers. He also got attention and sympathy from the school staff, especially James' favourite teacher: ie, the one he manipulated most easily.
James decided on a plan of covert bullying. He started a whispering campaign implying that Sam's parents were not splitting up, that he had said they were in order to seek attention. Sadly, this was all too successful and over the next few days Sam was met with silence and verbal bullying from his hitherto-supportive classmates.
James continued his campaign, targeting Sam's close friends over the next few days. They found themselves accused of misdemeanours such as sending offensive emails/texts. Then the 'favourite' teacher went on "leave with immediate effect" after accusations of assaulting a pupil. Where had the accusations come from? Guess.
This case shows how deliberately sociopaths, from a young age, can target others. Taking advantage of people's credibility and goodwill, James exploited the situation. With a more perceptive head teacher, this sociopath might have been found out, but he knew who to manipulate and how far he could go.
See the emperor/empress's clothes
Image © Franceso Pirrone To deal with sociopaths effectively, you first need to open your eyes. In The Emperor's New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson, two weavers promise the emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those who are stupid and unfit for their positions.
When the emperor parades before his subjects, all the adults, not wishing to be seen in a negative light, pretend they can see the clothes. The only truthful person is a child who cries "But he isn't wearing any clothes!".
You, too, need to see sociopaths as they really are. We are conditioned to keep quiet, which often means turning a blind eye to or putting up with abuse.
The boy in the tale represents those who see the problem behavior for what it is and find the courage of their convictions to make a stand. Sight becomes insight, which turns into action. Awareness is the first step in limiting the negative effects of contact with a sociopath.
Interactions of the sociopath
Let's look at what we term the Socio-Empath-Apath Triad, or Seat. Unremitting abuse of other people is an activity of the sociopath that stands out. To win their games, sociopaths enlist the help of hangers-on: apaths.
The apath. We call those who collude in the sport of the sociopath apathetic, or apaths. In this situation, it means a lack of concern or being indifferent to the targeted person.
We have highlighted the importance of seeing the problem for what it is via the tale of the Emperor's New Clothes, which represents the collective denial and double standards which are often a feature of social life. The apath in this context is someone who is willing to be blind: ie, not to see that the emperor/empress is naked.
Apaths are an integral part of the sociopath's arsenal and contribute to sociopathic abuse. Sociopaths have an uncanny knack of knowing who will assist them in bringing down the person they are targeting. It is not necessarily easy to identify an apath; in other circumstances, an apath can show ample empathy and concern for others - just not in this case. The one attribute an apath must have is a link to the target.
How apaths, who might otherwise be fair-minded people, become involved in such destructive business is not hard to understand, but it can be hard to accept. The main qualifying attribute is poor judgment resulting from lack of insight. They might be jealous of or angry at the target, and thus have something to gain from the evolving situation.
At other times, the apath might not want to see the 'bad' in someone, particularly if the sociopath is useful. Or they might choose not to see because they have enough on their plate and do not possess the wherewithal or moral courage to help the targeted person at that time. Usually, be it active or passive involvement, the apath's conscience appears to fall asleep. It is this scenario that causes people blindly to follow leaders motivated only by self-interest.
Readers might know of Yale University professor Stanley Milgram's experiments to test the human propensity to obey orders, as participants gave increasingly large electric shocks to subjects. Afterwards, he wrote an article, The Perils of Obedience: "Ordinary people, simply doing their jobs and without any particular hostility on their part, can become agents in a terrible destructive process".
Apaths are often fearful people. They are the ones most likely to go with the flow, to agree that the emperor/empress is wearing new clothes. They might also fail to perceive the threat: a danger is of no importance if you deny its existence.
An apath's response to a sociopath's call to arms can then result from a state of 'learned helplessness'. Apaths behave defenselessly because they want to avoid unpleasant or harmful circumstances [including the sociopath turning on them]. Apathy is an avoidance strategy. Image © Andreas Gradin The empath. Often, the person targeted by the sociopath is an empath. Empaths are ordinary people who are highly perceptive and insightful and belong to the 40% of human beings who sense when something's not right, who respond to their gut instinct. In The Emperor's New Clothes, the empath is the boy who mentions the unmentionable: that there are no clothes.
In the 1990s, researchers suggested that there was a positive relationship between empathy and emotional intelligence. Since then, that term has been used interchangeably with emotional literacy.
What this means in practice is that empaths have the ability to understand their own emotions, to listen to other people and empathise with their emotions, to express emotions productively and to handle their emotions in such a way as to improve their personal power.
People are often attracted to empaths because of their compassionate nature. A particular attribute is that they are sensitive to the emotional distress of others. Conversely, they have trouble comprehending a closed mind and lack of compassion in others.
Very highly empathic people can find themselves helping others at the expense of their own needs, which can lead them to withdraw from the world at times.
Comment: For individuals with this tendency, the psychopath/sociopath can manipulate and take advantage of the person by eliciting pity and/or guilt from them.
It is odd. Most of us enjoy watching films and reading books about heroes who refuse to go along with the crowd, which suggests there is something admirable about people who make a bold stand.
But in real life, watching someone raise their head above the parapet often makes the rest of us feel queasy. Most - the 60% majority - prefer the easy life. It was interesting to discover, when doing the research for this book, how often people see empaths in problematical terms.
Empaths use their ability to emphasize and to boost theirs and others' well being and safety. Problems arise for empaths, however, when there are apaths in the vicinity. Empaths can be brought down, distressed and forced into the position of the lone fighter by the inaction of more apathetic types round them.
The sociopathic transaction
Often empaths are targeted by sociopaths because they pose the greatest threat. The empath is usually the first to detect that something is not right and express what s/he senses.
As a consequence, the empath is both the sociopath's number one foe and a source of attraction; the empath's responses and actions provide excellent entertainment for sociopaths, who use and abuse people for sport.
The world of the empath is not for the faint-hearted. In the context we are discussing, empaths often find themselves up against not only the sociopath but often a flock of apaths as well. Apaths are afforded pole position in the sociopath's intrigues.
But this prime spot comes at a price for, in what we call the "sociopathic transaction", the apath makes an unspoken Faustian pact with the sociopath, then passively or otherwise participates in the cruel sport.
Image © Fotolia Olly Sociopath-empath-apath triad
The usual set-up goes like this: the empath is forced to make a stand on seeing the sociopath say or do something underhand. The empath challenges the sociopath, who straight away throws others off the scent and shifts the blame on to the empath. The empath becomes an object of abuse when the apath corroborates the sociopath's perspective.
The situation usually ends badly for the empath and sometimes also for the apath, if their conscience returns to haunt them or they later become an object of abuse themselves. But, frustratingly, the sociopath often goes scot free.
Sociopaths rarely vary this tried-and-tested formula because it virtually guarantees them success.
Sociopaths draw in apaths by various means: flattery, bribery, disorienting them with lies. A sociopath will go to any lengths to win her game. The best way to illustrate the interplay, and the ease with which apaths are pulled in, is by another short story.
'Steve and Robin' were microbiologists at a prestigious university, collaborating on an important vaccine trial. The department head, Ben, hoped to gain substantially; success could see his status in his field rise and prove the catalyst for a glittering career.
His colleagues worked relentlessly collecting data, then Ben drafted a paper for submission to a respected journal. He decided that the outcome didn't look tantalising, so falsified key results in order to present findings in the best light. On completing the draft, he sent the paper for comment to his colleagues. Steve replied by email that he was happy with the manuscript; he used the opportunity to suck up to his boss. But Robin was aghast, noting colossal errors. With great urgency, he rattled off an email to Ben.
Receiving no response to this or a phone call, Robin went to find Ben in person, discovering him in the cafeteria with Steve. But he was too late. Ben had poisoned Steve's mind, saying that Robin had challenged him over the accuracy of the results, due to a longstanding grudge. Ben said he had to pull Robin up about his own work several months back. Steve was different, Ben implied. He intimated Steve would be on course for promotion "especially if we get this paper out and secure funding for the next-stage trials".
By the time Ben joined them, Steve, though initially shocked, had been won over by Ben's swift flattery and insinuations.
Robin crossed the cafeteria to them. "Hi, you two got a moment?" Briefly there was an awkward silence. Steve exchanged a look with Ben, who gave a slight conspiratorial smile, now that the transaction was done and the sport under way. "Yes, we were just talking about the paper. By the way, I did see your email, but if you look at the paper thoroughly, I think you'll find that everything is correct." Steve replied with a smug look that "I'm with Ben on this one". Robin was floored. "You can't be serious? You're happy for it to go off to be reviewed with all these serious errors? Our reputations will be left in ruins."
He decided to make a stand. He asked for his name to be removed as a co-author but was exasperated to learn that it was sent off to the journal anyway. More frustratingly, it was published. Meanwhile, the workplace became a source of stress for Robin as he struggled to cope with the backlash from colleagues who saw his intervention as an attempt to sabotage their work. People avoided him and, when they did talk to him, the conversation was stilted.
Eventually Robin arranged a meeting with Ben to have it out once and for all. But Ben took control of the agenda. "Robin, I have to be honest with you, many of your colleagues are unhappy about the way you handled things and some have made complaints. They don't trust you to conduct yourself professionally after you attempted to sabotage their hard work. Mercifully the reviewers saw what a fine trial we'd conducted and didn't get wind of your attempted slur.
"We can't afford to have a saboteur on the team. So I've discussed this with the dean and he agrees there is no future for you here, and there's no other way to deal with this. You've got to go."
Any phase of this story sound familiar?
The gaslighting effect
In the story above, the actions of Ben and Steve have a 'gaslighting' effect on Robin. Gaslighting is a systematic attempt by one person to erode another's reality.
Image © unknown The syndrome gets its name from the play and films of the same name in which a murderer strives to make his wife doubt her sanity and get others to disbelieve her.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented in such a way as to make the target doubt his/her memory and perception. Psychologists call this "the sociopath's dance". It could involve denial or staging of strange events.
This is Machiavellian behaviour of the worst kind. And anyone can become a victim of the sociopath's gaslighting moves: parent and child, in-laws, friends, groups of people including work colleagues.
Psychotherapist Christine Louise de Canonville describes different phases that the abuser leads the relationship through: the idealisation stage, where the sociopath shows herself in the best possible light - but this phase is an illusion, to draw her target in the devaluation stage begins gradually so the target is not alert to the sociopath's transformation to being cold and unfeeling, but will begin to feel devalued at every turn; the more distressed the target becomes, the more the sociopath enjoys her power, and her abuse can become more extreme the discarding stage - the target is reduced to an object to which the sociopath is indifferent, seeing the game as won; the sociopath rejects any connection, moving on to the next target. Gaslighting does not happen all at once so, if you suspect in the early stages of a relationship that you are being gaslighted, you can protect yourself by walking away.
To learn more, including how to recover from exposure to a prolonged sociopathic transaction, buy The Empathy Trap: Understanding antisocial personalities by Dr Jane and Tim McGregor (Sheldon Press, ISBN 978-1847092762). About the authors
Dr Jane McGregor is a freelance trainer and lecturer at the Institute of Mental Health, University of Nottingham. She holds a PhD in public health and worked in the NHS and voluntary sector, mostly in the field of addiction treatment.
Tim McGregor is freelance consultant and trainer, and a mental-health practitioner of many years' standing. He has worked in the NHS and voluntary sector, most recently as a commissioning adviser.
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« on: February 22, 2016, 11:53:12 AM »
G'Day Fellow Wordsmiths,
Ever since I could remember I have loved to read, books of all genres horror action thriller science fiction and fantasy.
Actually my favourite is science fantasy and I blame my first grade teacher Miss Brown, a lovely kind woman who was especially kind to me, every afternoon she would read to the class for 30 minutes. The first book she read to us was
The Magic Faraway Tree A children's novel by Enid Blyton, first published in 1943.
It is the second book in the The Faraway Tree series of novels, in which Jo, Bessie and Fanny (renamed Joe, Beth and Frannie in later editions), the protagonists of the series, have their cousin Dick (renamed Rick in later editions) over to stay with them. They then introduce him to Silky, Moonface, Saucepan Man and all their other friends in the Magic Faraway Tree.
In 2003 it was voted #66 in the BBC's Big Read poll to find the UK's favourite book.
The second was
The Hobbit, or There and Back Again is a fantasy novel and children's book by English author J. R. R. Tolkien. It was published on 21 September 1937 to wide critical acclaim, being nominated for the Carnegie Medal and awarded a prize from the New York Herald Tribune for best juvenile fiction. The book remains popular and is recognized as a classic in children's literature.
Set in a time "Between the Dawn of Færie and the Dominion of Men", The Hobbit follows the quest of home-loving hobbit Bilbo Baggins to win a share of the treasure guarded by the dragon, Smaug. Bilbo's journey takes him from light-hearted, rural surroundings into more sinister territory.[2] The story is told in the form of an episodic quest, and most chapters introduce a specific creature, or type of creature, of Tolkien's geography. By accepting the disreputable, romantic, fey and adventurous sides of his nature and applying his wits and common sense, Bilbo gains a new level of maturity, competence and wisdom. The story reaches its climax in the Battle of the Five Armies, where many of the characters and creatures from earlier chapters re-emerge to engage in conflict.
I truly believe that this experience as a 6 yo had a dramatic influence on my entire life, I became a voracious reader devouring books as fast as I could, and as a result a dream was born deep in my soul, to write, to create a story that would affect others as I had been affected by the books I had read.
like many dreams it sat deep in my soul and I knew I was 'gunna' do it one day write that novel that would shake the world and change lives, yes 50 years later I was still gunna do it one day
then I stumbled into achat and then into forum and there was a thread where people posted their stories they had written, I had one little story I had written (not bad for 50 years of gunna be a writer lol) and I posted it there, yes I was terrified people would say it was terrible no one would bother reading it people would throw rotten tomatoes at me, but I faced that fear and posted it anyway.
And yes some ppl didn't like it, but there were some who did like it, you can’t please everyone right? There was one person in particular who read it and liked it, she tracked me down and told me it was good, she invited me to enter the erotic story contest, and was supportive and offered advice and even offered to proof read and edit it for me.
so I wrote a story and submitted it to the contest, and I grew a little as a writer, and to my surprise many people read it and liked it and I came second in the contest. My first contest and I came second, my belief in myself grew, maybe that long buried dream could one day come true, maybe some of the ideas that were rattling around in my head could become stories others would enjoy.
What I’m trying to say to those who have a similar dream is to take action, write a story or a poem and publish it here, this is a safe place to have a go, test the water and overcome those things holding you back from trying.
Spread your wings and fly, every time you try you get a little better get more confidence and if you persist keep facing up to those challenges and fears you will achieve that dream.
Good luck and I expect to see you as a Pulitzer Prize winner
PS There are people here who will help you all you need to do is ask
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