The Achat Bar & Grill . ( AB&G )

[sexilicious]

Laughs. “I doubt many guys would want me wielding the whip. I'm not the kind of girl they would want at that end.”

Snickers at his comment about the jungle. Thinking if he had been a girl, it could have been a completely different jungle he mentioned. “Have to watch out in those jungles though. You never know what wildlife will come to you.”

Drinks my shake more and relaxes in the stool. Handing the baby over to Joe, I ask him to take her back to her mom and the rest of the group cause she might want to be with them.

[Wolf_A]

Laughing warmly, with you and also a little at what you said…. “Sexi you never know. I do know that I wouldn't allow you to wield a whip … ” Then I had an little quiet laugh.

I took a sip of coffee and wondered at that snicker … Only until I replaced the cup on the bar, swirling the coffee around the cup a little “Ohhh I doubt there would be anything too dangerous … Nothing with poisonous bite at any rate … ”  Watching and moving my coffee to safety as sexi handed the goat across the bar to Joe.

“He'll be much happier out there … How long have you been a goat herder then sexi ? ”  Grinning at the tease but keeping my eyes on you. I reached in to my shirt pocket and handed you a card “My business card … My address is on the back so you know where to drop the goats off when you have the time …… Oh and when I'm home …. ” I smiled and handed it to you … ” Give me a call before you turn up otherwise the alarms may go off ok, Sexi ?”

[Brandybee]

Coming out of the office, I was in need of a great cup of tea. The accounts always gave me a headache and I reminded myself, I really did need to chase up Covems tab.

I nearly trip over a couple of goats let loose in the bar.
“What the…”  Then I spot Sexilicious at the bar speaking to some handsome stranger, Wolf_A
That answers that  question, knowing she was a sucker for cuddly animals.

I call over to Happy & Doc,  “Herd the goats up and put them in the pen next to Pachacutie the Panda, will you? With some goat food. I don’t want them tripping up some of our customers.”

I wave to ItsAmy123 and congratulate her on yet another great song and dance. She was getting quite few followers and always packed the bar out with the Cocks N Roses House Band.

I greet the new stranger, Wolf_A and ensure both he and Sexi are topped up with drinks. Then I join Leighdee at the bar. She tells me she’s thinking of buying a cabin at the lake.
“That would be great,” I tell her. “There’s a few new cabins up for sale. LovingSir and Sam_Hawke have not long moved in.”

Old Joe sees my need and pushes  a fresh  cup of tea in front of me. “Now the day looks better,” I think as I take my first sip.

Jasmine_t sings a delightful song on stage too. As its her first time, I ask Old_Joe to send a bottle of her favourite beverage as congratulations for taking the plunge. (On Covems tab of course)

Lover & FoxyRoxxy  and  Jingerbird & Tangoracer are sitting quietly at their tables, enjoying the show. I go say “Hi” to both couples and tease they should both try a Yard of Ale and ride the mechanical bull right after to see who stays on the longest.
I congratulate Tango on his jokes and wonderful song he had sung earlier.

Moving back to the bar, Jayc joins me. “Have we got goats in the bar?”  He asks as Old Joe places a coffee in front of him.
“You met them already?” I laugh.
“The dwarfs were chasing them round and a couple nearly took me out.” He replied rubbing his shin. “How’s the accounts going?”
“All done. Just remind Covems to pay up, next time you see him.”

Old Joe slides another tea towards me and I smile at him gratefully. 
The Cock N Roses begin another great tune and several people get up to dance on the dancefloor.

[Covems]

Seeing that the stage is empty, I grab my mug of sarsparilla and make my way to the mic.  I tap on the microphone…
“Is this thing on?”

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people
…But it needs more work

Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
…You can drop them off anywhere.

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
…A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

…I'd like to end with a little poem…

Roses are red that much is true
but violets are purple not fucking blue.

Thank you…  I'll be here all week.

[sexilicious]

“I been working with the goats for a couple years now.”

Looks at your business card and then glances back at it seeing the whip on the front.

“Alright will bring by the goats sometime to trim up that yard of yours.” Waits a little bit pondering what you said. “So, what happens if the alarms go off,” I ask wondering if anything good could come of doing something naughty.

At that time, I see Covems gets up on stage and does his jokes. Shaking my head, I smile at his jokes knowing only Covems would do something like that. Turning back to Joe, “Give us some more drinks on Covems tab. Maybe that will teach him for getting on stage to tell jokes and not come say hi.”

[hentaiboy69]

It's 3 a.m. and I'm driving home after had spent almost 20 hours at the election point I was assigned and I can cleraly feel my eyes closing time by time. In a rare moment of lucidity, I notice the glowing road's sign of the Bar & Grill light the dark of the night and I can't to avoid to think at how many months are passed since last time I visited the place.

Conscious of the fact that I have to drive for more than 30 minutes to finally go back home, I take the decision to take a break at the Bar and rest a little, and who know,…..maybe I can meet old friends here! So, after had parking my can in the half full and considering how much my feet hurts after all that time wearing heels, I walk to the entrance barefoot, just stopping in front of the door to take a deep breath before opening it.

“I wonder how the place is changed….” I say to my self, just a moment before I open the door and step in.

Inside, the light are low and they make difficult, for my tired eyes, to easily recognize the customers who are sitting at the table. Anyway, I quite sure there are people I know but first think I need is a strong, doubl coffe, so I move to the count where a surprised Old Joe welcome me

“Long tome away from here, HB!”

“Indeed….” I reply, trying to smile despite the fact I'm about to fall asleep “Busy months tooks me away from here!”

“Well, hope we can see you around more, from now on! Coffee!?”

I nod at him, not surprised to see he still smart as usual and friendly, then I answer to his first quention with a nostalgic ight in my eyes.

“Maybe….I missed the place!”

“And we missed you!” Joe replies, handing me a steamy cup of coffee. While I take it, I smile again at Joe, just before looking around at the Bar again: yes, definitely, I missed this place!

[Wolf_A]

It was almost funny listening to the jokes …. almost … I was distracted though and only gave the comedy act a glance before I watched sexilicious look over the business card, turning it in your fingers. Smiling at your words and thinking before replying……..

“Mmmm That depends if the private security company call the cops or send one of their own guys….. Chances are the cops  might just accept that  you set the alarms off by accident and are there for a valid reason … Now … the security get paid to do a job. They will probably slap you in cuffs first … I would get a text …. Then have to leave work to come and see what kind of trouble you got in to while cuffed … Mmmmm ….”

I grinned with mischief in my eyes … “Then it would depend on my mood … If I was going to be really wicked and evil I could just tell security that I have no idea who you are …. Or .. ”

I grinned and “Thank you sexi ” as the fresh drinks arrived in front of us and took a sip of the one placed in front of me watching your reactions to what I'd said ….. Still grinning ….as I watched some one I didn't know enter the bar.

[Covems]

I'm leaving the stage, and take a look around the bar room.  There are a lot of familiar faces, and a few new ones.  I suspect my tab wil rise again, but it is all good.  I spot Miss Sexi seated at the bar, and I break into a silly smile, and do an about face.  I tap the mic again…. “Is this thing on?'

“What do you call an unemployed goat?
Billy Idol.”

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a goat walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the goat's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It's a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the goat. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

“What do you call a redneck who owns 6 goats?
A pimp.”

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a goat sitting next to him.
“Are you a goat?” asked the man, surprised.
“Yes.”
“What are you doing at the movies?”
The goat replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

“What do you call the best 'butter' on the farm?
A goat!”

A policeman in the big city stops Miss Sexilicious in a car with a goat in the front seat.
“What are you doing with that goat?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.”
“That's a great idea.” Miss Sexi answers.
The following week, the same policeman sees Miss Sexilicious with the goat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls her over. “I thought you were going to take that goat to the zoo!”
Miss Sexi replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

“Thank you…. I'll be here all week.”

I down the remainder of my sarsparilla, thenI move from the stage and take my usual seat at the end of the bar by the dwarf's panel.

[sexilicious]

Hearing Covems start telling more jokes about goats, I can't help but shake my head and stick my tongue out at him. When I see one of the baby goats come running in with Grumpy chasing after the baby. Laughing, I know that chasing a goat only makes them run away more. As the baby runs underneath the tables, Grumpy starts tossing the chairs to get to the baby but she already ran off to another table. Giving Grumpy a good merry chase as they run around the room before running back outside.

When Covems came over to sit down, I holler down at him, “Next time I'll take the goat to the movies and sit behind you.”

Turning attention back to wolf, I smile devilishly. 'Well if the cops come out, I have them wrapped around my fingers.” Points over to Tango and Martin. “Those two men are the ones responsible for this town and when it comes to women, they are always taking them down to the jail or pulling them over. Not because they are breaking the law either.” Winking at him, I am sure he will get the point.

“If it is the security guy, I'll just have to work my charms on him and who knows that might be fun. Then again who knows maybe you will personally see to correcting me since I didn't call you first since you asked.”

Seeing HB come up to the bar, I smile. “You better sit down before you fall down there HB. You look like you could collapse at anytime. Maybe you should rest in the spa room before heading all the way home. Would not want you to get in a wreck on your way home.”

[Wolf_A]

Evidently you knew a lot of the people in here. I smiled at the jokes, one caused a chuckle. Both eyebrows  rose in unison as a kid goat bleated and darted first under one table and then another. It was funny to watch the antics of the two…. “Never a good idea chasing a goat … It's either a game or they think they are about to be eaten alive.”

Eyes followed your direction and grinned at your retort to Covams, Then I was listening to you talking about the two guys, Tango and Martin, smiling as you gave me that wink.  ” Ahhh really now … ”  I lifted the drink to my lips and took a long slow sip ” I'm sure that could very well happen, sexilicious …. Correction and a little discipline never go amiss sexi…. Especially if it is a deserved correction.”  I was about to say more but then you  turned to hb and I just fell silent and sipped at my drink  smiling and listening to sexi.

Listening to sexi talking, the  concern for hb's well being in her voice I nodded once as she finished talking to hb …. I stood from the stoll and tapped sexi on the shoulder lightly. “I'll see you when you deliver the grass cutters sexi …. until then be safe.” I smiled and turned to go home.

[hentaiboy69]

Fresh and relaxed, I step inside the Bar & Grill looking around to see if Brandy is in the room ar somewhere else. I see no trace of her, so I move to the bar where Old Joe is cleaning the glasses, as usual.

“Hey Joe! Have you seen Brandy today!?”

“Maybe she's in the office….go take a look!”

I wave my hand toi thanks him and lead for the place where I hope to finally find the busy Queen of the Bar. The door is not locked and slowly, I open it, taking a look inside the room just to seen Brandy taking cares of some orders for alchool and other suff the bar is in need, as usual.

“Hey Barandy, you got some time for an old friends!?” I ask, walking inside the room and closing the door behind me.

“Don't need to ask for that….what's up, HB!?”

Sitting on the chair right in front of the desk, I unrool the poster I had under my arm and show it to Brandy

then, I introduce the contest I had planned to her.

Everyone can join it and the rules are simple. You can chose a song you like and rewrite the text, just to sing it on the stage of the Bar & Grill and when any contestant have done to singing his song, a jury selected between the crowd will claim the winner.

[Brandybee]

HB tells me his idea for the song contest.

“That sounds great HB, ” I tell him.  “Love the poster.  Hang it on the notice board and add  my name to the list.”

HB starts to smile, “What song are you going to sing?” he asks

“I have no idea, ”  I tell him, “but one things for sure, I wont miss out on a good knees up.”

HB leaves my office and a short time later, I see him at the notice board with Stone. 

“Should be an interesting night,” I muse to myself.

[Brandybee]

The room is quite packed for the “AB&G has got talent Song Contest”

Old Joe is sitting at the front of the stage with a desk and a jug of beer instead of water and  X factor type buzzers.  He had playfully put Simon's name in front of his seat. To his left is the cyborg J2D2  with a wig on – Scary Spice,   A dwarf – Doc   with another wig – Cheryl Cole  and Dopey dressed like a Leprechaun – Louis Walsh. 

The bar is packed and cheering the contestants on.

Happy & Bashful in tuxedos looking very smart, enter The Stage to introduce Hentaiboy's Song Contest –  The AB&G Has Got Talent. 

In their best Geordie accents, they introduce the first Act ….

Brandybee  and  her rendition of 

Culture Club – “Karma Chameleon”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmcA9LIIXWw 

I appear on stage looking like a drag queen version of Boy George

The music starts and I begin to sway and dance …     ” Are you ready?”   I shout to the audience.  They cheer & whoop & whistle back ..

“Well here it is ….    Achat  Style …  ”    I giggle into the mic.     Everyone waits & then  the Cocks N Roses play the intro and I get ready to sing …

I change the mic for a Penis shaped one –  Bright lime green …  and start to sing…

Achat loving in your eyes all the way
As I listen to your sighs I will say

I'm a woman who has convictions
I'm a woman who doesn't know
How to use a contraception
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow

[Chorus:]
Cuma cuma cuma cuma cuma, Cum my sweet man
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow
Loving you is easy as my mouth sure likes your stream
Red- gold, rich cream
Red- gold, rich cream

I hear your wicked words every day
You’re cock is used today, tastes so sweet. I hear you say,

That my love is an addiction
When we cling, Achat love is strong
When I go, I go on forever
You scream along
You cream so long

[Chorus]  Cuma cuma cuma cuma cuma, cum my sweet man
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow
Loving you is easy as my mouth sure likes your stream
Red- gold rich cream
Red- gold rich cream
—-
Every day is like survival, survival
You're my lover, my urge is primal
Every day is like survival, survival
You're my lover, my urge is primal

—  instrumental —  Where I felate the mic seductively

I'm a woman who has convictions
I'm a woman who doesn't know
How to use a contraception
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow

I encourage the audience to join in with the Chorus  –  cuma cuma cuma cuma cuma,  cum my sweet man
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow
Loving you is easy as my mouth sure likes your stream
Red- gold rich cream
Red- gold rich cream

---

Cuma cuma cuma cuma cuma, cum my sweet man
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow
Loving you is easy as my mouth sure likes your stream
Red- gold rich cream
Red- gold rich cream

---

Cuma cuma cuma cuma Cuma,  cum my sweet man
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow
Loving you is easy as my mouth sure likes your stream
Red- gold rich cream
Red- gold rich cream.

---

(Fading …) The audience fades with me     Cuma cuma cuma cuma cuma,  cum my sweet man
You cum, I blow
You cum, I blow
Loving you is easy as my mouth sure likes your stream
Red- gold rich cream
Red- gold rich cream. mmmmm

The song ends, I take my bow , wave and clap the audiences participation and then walk off stage, waiting for the next singer to take to the stage …

[Amethyst]

I Push the doors open , oh my god ..it looks busy in here , I notice a Woman dressed up just leaving the stage, wow its Brandy! I haven't seen her since we were kids and she's looking as  bubbly and as nutty as ever. The crowd cheering her as she left the stage I wondered what it's all about. I tug at the bottom of my pink dress pulling it down a little as I weave through the crowd towards the bar.

I approach the bar and wait to be served , momentarily distracted from my upcoming evening with Wolf as I notice many faces from my past, unsure if they will recognise me. it's been a few years since I ventured into Crystal Lake and that shabby girl I once was seemed to have disappeared.. .. I catch a glimpse of a poster on the bar and can't help but laugh to myself, I was good at ad-libbing as a kid , dare I give it go ?

Well seen as tonight was a night for stepping into new waters I made my way over to the stage . I spoke to the band who kindly Agreed to play my chosen song and I made my way onto the stage… Oh God what was that ??! A Penis Shaped Microphone.. I laughed ..I was suppose to sing into this thing and keep a straight face. Having been Introduced I Awaited for my Intro .. I had Chosen

Young Guns By Wham

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwzoxMPbFys

“Young Guns”

Hey sucker
(What the hell's got into you?)
Hey sucker
(Now there's something more to do)

Well I hadn't had your mouth around me awhile,
So I greeted you, with a knowing smile,
When you saw that smile upon my face,
You knew I had your diary and you were disgraced.
I said “Down Girl , let's grind and pound!”
you said “Down Boy, Get out of town!”
But in return, all I could say was
“Hey Bitch, just you come and play”

Chorus
Young stud,
Having No fun
Crazy lady  'Shoulda been a nun.
Wise guys realize there's danger in blackmail and lies.
Fuuuck me, wild and free
No tears, no fears, what I want to be.
One, two, take a look at me
Death by masturbating!

Hey sucker,
(What the hell's got into you?)
Hey sucker!
(Now there's something more to do.)

A Horny man? I am out of my head
fuckless nights, on a camping bed
I paddy all the time Like I am one
If your happy as a sappy then you're in for fun.
But you're here
And you're there
Well there's chicks like you just everywhere
Looking back on the ACHAT days?
Well this young stud says Blackmail PAYS!

Chorus
Young stud,
Having No fun
Crazy lady  'Shoulda been a nun.
Wise guys realize there's danger in blackmail and lies.
Fuuuck me, wild and free
No tears, no fears, what I want to be.
One, two, take a look at me
Death by masturbating!

I remember when we had such fun and everthing was fine,
I remember when we use to have a good time,
Covered in slime.
Tell me that's all in the past and I will gladly walk away,
Tell me you're a sappy now,
Turning my back
Nothing to say!
“Hey listen jerk go take a hike,
There's somethin' 'bout your cock I don't like”
“Well sugar I don't mean the things I said”
“Just fuck off outta my way, 'cause I'm seeing red
I've got plans to make, I've got things to buy
And you're wasting time being a creepy guy”
“Hey shut up chick, that's blown my mind,
Just watch your mouth babe, you're out of line”

OoooooH!

GET BACK
HANDS OFF
GO FOR IT!

As the song finished I quickly rushed from the stage, I definitely needed that drink now!

[AusWoody]

The catcalls cheers and clapping died down to a low murmur, the click oh heavy heels  walking across the wooden floor filled the silence as the heavy set bikie moved to the bar.

“G'Day Joe, Bundy and beer chaser please ” he drawled to the old barman.

“Coming up  Woody” he responded  “what's the paperwork?”

“Just a song I wrote for the contest, BrandyBee made me do it, I no longer resist because she dont give up till I give in, LOL”

The Bikie was dressed in a clean pair of black jeans  black denim shirt and of course his leather vest, and  a new pair of red and black cowboy boots, downing the bundy  he took the beer  and headed for that stage. With a quick word to the band he turns to the microphone stand, tapping it  murmuring “is this thing on?”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, guests  and the rest of you, I going to sing this song for the contest, so keep the noise to a low rumble  and I wont take too much of your  drinking time” he quipped  with a smile.
“Hit it boys”

“The Gambler”  Kenny Rogers. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X7Sx62plCw

On a warm summer's evenin,
In the sexy aChat poker room
Where I met up with an old man.
Quite a lover of cards and dice
He had whores and he had ladies,
He made love and he made babies
He could tell some damn good stories
And give some good advice

He said, “Son, I've made a life
Out of readin' people's faces
Knowin' what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes
So if you don't mind me sayin'
I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I'll give you some advice”

So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And his faced lost all expression
He said, “If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta treat the ladies right

You gotta learn how to pick 'em son,
Learn how to lick 'em son,
Learn how to stick 'em son,
between their thighs.
You gotta try not to cheat 'em  much,
Teach 'em too suck and such,
Learn to love and,
Try not to feed 'em
Too much bullshit and lies.

Now, every shagger knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to push away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every touch’s a winner
And every touch's a loser
And the best that you can strive for
Is she climax’s till she sleeps”

And when he finished speakin'
He turned back toward the window
Crushed out his cigarette
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
The shagger, he broke even
And in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep

You gotta learn how to pick 'em son,
Learn how to lick 'em son,
Learn how to stick 'em son,
between their thighs.
You gotta try not to cheat 'em  much,
Teach 'em too suck and such,
Learn to love and,
Try not to feed 'em
Too much bullshit and lies.

You gotta learn how to pick 'em son,
Learn how to lick 'em son,
Learn how to stick 'em son,
between their thighs.
You gotta try not to cheat 'em  much,
Teach 'em too suck and such,
Learn to love and,
Try not to feed 'em
Too much bullshit and lies.

You gotta learn how to pick 'em son,
Learn how to lick 'em son,
Learn how to stick 'em son,
between their thighs.
You gotta try not to cheat 'em  much,
Teach 'em too suck and such,
Learn to love and,
Try not to feed 'em
Too much bullshit and lies.

You gotta learn how to pick 'em son,
Learn how to lick 'em son,
Learn how to stick 'em son,
between their thighs.
You gotta try not to cheat 'em  much,
Teach 'em too suck and such,
Learn to love and,
Try not to feed 'em
Too much bullshit and lies.

[Author]

Posts